Epic Combo

Epic Combo

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, got distracted.  Anyway, time for today's time waster...

So, do you have anger issues?  Do you need to let out some frustration?  Do you hate turtles?  Have a fondness for hammers?  Like to make tricks shots?  Well, today is your lucky day.  Today we have Epic Combo.  Poorly named, bust filled with epic turtle abusing goodness.  The point of this game is to use your manly hammer to bounce as many turtles in the air as possible and make them bounce off as many surfaces as possible.  The  higher the combination of bounces, the higher the payout.  Gather enough money and you can spend it on increasing the turtle flow, adding a buzz saw, lasers, mines, etc.  Try it out, it's epic fun for all, well, except for those poor defenseless turtless...

Ninja Dog

Ninja Dog

Today's fun game time waster excitorama is entitled Ninja Dog.  What better combination than ninjas and dogs for ultimate fun eh?  As far as story goes, apparently this ninja guy was being a lazy ass and declined to help the wrong old man.  Now he's been turned into a dog and has to keep helping people until the old guy decides he's paid his debt.  And how do you pay your debt?  By throwing your ninja stars as random objects in trees of course!  The object changes between chapters, but it usually ends up that you need to knock something out of a tree without knocking some other things out of a tree.  On many levels you have a limited number of shurikens so it becomes a "how can i do this in as few moves as possible" type game.  Fortunately there are boss fights to break up the monotony once you get into higher levels.  Have fun and tell me what you think.

Pixel Purge

Pixel Purge

Here is a fun and almost mindless shooter to pass the time.  Pixel Purge is a standard dual-stick space shooter (well, wasd and mouse, but same difference.)  You shoot random pixel aliens and gather pixels to upgrade your various systems.  The upgrades are part of the fun.  The achievements also add to the pleasure.  The pixel aliens they send after you get progressively larger and then more varied and more difficult to kill.  Eventually they will send alien pods that split into a million tiny 1-pixel-sized aliens that swarm after you.  I would have preferred that the difficulty level ramp up sooner, but overall this game is still a lot of fun and a good way to pass 20 minutes or so.  I think I got to level 15 on my last try before dieing.  How high can you get?

Learn to Fly

Learn to Fly

Today's time waster is a humanitarian effort to help everyone's favorite flightless bird, the penguin, learn to fly. Donate today to help these poor birds experience the joy of flight that, without your help, they may never have a chance to experience.  For just $10,000 a day you can provide rocket fuel that will propel these poor unfortunate birds into the stratosphere.  Do you really need that used car when, in comparison, you can give the joy of flight?

This is your standard distance and speed jump game with upgrades.  You start off a penguin with a small ramp that can barely "fly" a few feet, but by the end you will have strapped performance gliders and super rockets to this determined biped.  It should only take you 20 - 30 minutes to get as far as the end, though I'm still unable to break the 6000ft mark which has a "?" for the gained achievement.  If anyone can get that far and take a screenshot/give a description of what, if anything is gained, please leave it in the comments.  Have fun!

Epic Battle Fantasy

Epic Battle Fantasy

Do you like jRPGs but hate all that walking around and talking to people and crap?  Today's time waster is just for you.  Epic Battle Fantasy is all attack, not much else.  This is a good thing.  You start out at the store with a lot of coins.  Spend it all, you wont see a store again for a long time.  After you buy all your potions and whatnot you get to fight through wave after wave of cute evil slimes and then other more intimidating monsters.  You already have all of your weapons and magic and skills, but you do get to change swords and whatnot for some strategy.  The point is to get through all of the waves of enemies in every area, including boss enemies, with just the life and weapons you have on you.  It's quite fun.

Penguinz

Penguinz

Today's time waster is a cathartic massacre tale staring a penguin with a gun who must defend himself from penguinz with bats and picks and later guns of their own.  It's a simple game, but fun for a few minutes.  You get to upgrade your weapons and buy ammo between rounds and the bad guys get progressively harder to kill.  It would be nice if the programmer had made a way to turn down/off the music and keep the sound effects.  The music, though appropriate for the speed of the game, becomes grating rather quickly.  Have fun, don't shoot any real penguins!

QWOP and GIRP

GIRP

QWOP

Today we have 2 frustrating, yet at times hilarious, time wasters for you.  GIRP is a mountain climbing simulator.  You have to use the keyboard keys to grip the hand-holds on the side of the mountain and use the ctrl key to flex your muscle to pull yourself up.  I've only been able to make it to 5.9m so far.  Can you do any better?

Our second time waster is QWOP.  The goal is to run to the 100 metres down the track without falling.  To control your runner you use the q and w keys to move the runner's thighs and the o and p keys to move his calves.  It's hilarious how badly your runner will hurt himself.  If anyone can make it to the end of the track in less than an eternity without falling I'll give you one free internet.  My current best is 7.5m.

Bloxorz

Bloxorz

Today's time sink is an addicting puzzle game named Bloxorz.  The goal of the game is simple:  you must get your rectangular block to fall through the hole in the stage without falling off the outer edges.  You use the arrow keys to roll the block or flip the block end over end.  To add some skill to it there are a few different switches that do various things like make bridges or teleport your block and split it in half.  I was able to get to level 12 before frustration go the best of me.  Let me know how well you do.

Transform

Transform

Today we have a strange game of survival from EYEMAZE games simply named "Transform."  The object of the game is simply to help the gazelle get away from the hungry lion about to pounce.  They don't tell you how, you have to figure it out yourself, the faster the better.  It took me 3:38 to finish it on my first go.  How well can you do?

All We Need is Brain

All We Need is Brain

Today's distraction combines three topics dear to everybody's heart:  Brains, Zombies, and Love.  The love of disposing of zombies that is.  All We Need is Brain is a fun puzzle game where you have to use a limited supply of fresh brains to lure the zombies out of their grave and to their death.  You can either lure them over cliffs, into land mines, into riffle range, or whatever other options the game decides to give you.  Have fun and don't waste too much time!

Clarence's Big Chance

Clarence's Big Chance

Here's another quirky platformer to waste your time.  In Clarence's Big Chance this big tub of lard (Clarence), whom still lives with his parents and has never had a date in his life, has finally scored himself a date!  He did it by lying of course and it was through a chat room she's never seen him, but no matter!  You've gotta get Clarence through his day so he can go on his date.  You go from room to room, collecting money and keys and various other items that will help Clarence get ready for his date.  You need to upgrade his smell, get him clothed, perhaps get him a better job even.  You also need to make sure to check out the laptops so he can research (stalk) his date and know enough about her to make a good impression.  Have fun, waste time, be happy!

Pig Dream

Pig Dream

Time for another time waster.  Today we're playing Pig Dream.  If you're looking for a simple yet fun platformer then this is your game.  You play a pig monk who wakes up to realize the monestary has been flooded.  Your mission is to gather up all of the manuscripts so they don't get water damage.  You also must wake up the other pig monks and find a way to remove the water.  For a pig you can jump fairly high and you have a sonic kick to defend yourself from attacking slimes, jumping fish, squirting clams and other devious creatures that get in your way.  Fortunately the controls are fairly tight compared to many flash platformers so this one wont be frustrating you due to poor controls.  The tough jumps and obstacles will be your frustration. Have fun and don't blame me for your wasted hours!

Juathuur Gatecrash

Juathuur Gatecrash

Here's a short and peaceful 'find the differences' game to waste some time with.  It actually seems to be a tie-in to a series of books/comics.  The music of the game is calm and peaceful.  The art is beautiful.  The hidden differences are challenging, but not overly so.  You also get to read a short section of the story while playing and link to more of the story when you're done.  For me, that adds up to time well wasted.  Hope you have fun!

Matrix Rampage

Matrix Rampage

Here's a simple, yet well developed, beat em up till they kill you flash game to waste some time with.  You play as Neo from The Matrix and you have to keep killing agents until they finally overwhelm you.  Fun gimmicks include:  you can pick up objects and weapons, you can destroy walls and floors.  Have fun and don't waste too much time!

Brave Dragon

Brave Dragon

Today we have a simple, yet fun, side scrolling shot em up about a dragon attempting to save dragon-kind from their evil human exterminators.  The humans have discovered a magical energy source that has made them powerful enough to get rid of the dragons they have feared since they can remember.  The only hope to save the dragon species is to fly to the source of this magical energy and destroy it.

Simple one-click firing controls and mouse movement make this an easy game to play while not looking too obvious to your bosses or teachers.  Have fun and come back again soon!

Shopping Cart Hero

Shopping Cart Hero
via kongregate

Today's flash game discovery is a simple time waster named Shopping Cart Hero.  Based on the simple yet addicting how-far-can-you-go theme, this game ads extras that you can purchase with the money you get after each turn.  After pushing your cart down the ramp, jumping in, and launching yourself off of the ramp, you have to balance yourself in the air so as not to crash and kill yourself.  You can risk tricks in mid-air to raise your score.  Addons like rocket boosters and racing wheels will assist your cart while groupies will ride with you and add to your style score.  Give it a try, but don't blame me for the wasted time!.

Upgrade Complete!

Upgrade Complete!
via Kongregate

Upgrading is the best part of most any game, right?  Well you're in luck with this game.  You have to upgrade to even play the darn thing!  Not only do you get to upgrade your in-game ship with new parts and then upgrade those parts, you get to upgrade the game itself.  You might consider buying a preloader and a loading bar, else the game won't do much.  Fortunately they'll give you a loan when you start.  Have fun and come back for more games soon!

Hard, Indeed

Link

Here's a short game to make you think.  Very realistic.  Few games match this one for realism and depth.

Toss the Turtle

via kongregate

Here's a new twist on the skill shoot for distance type of games.  In Toss the Turtle you fire your turtle friend from a cannon by varying the angle and power of the cannon.  You also get three shots from a slingshot to hit him in mid air.  You also get to adjust his forward momentum with the wasd keys.  The real fun comes from picking up money to buy upgrades and other things from the store.  These additions help keep you in a game like this for hours.

Bow Master Prelude

Jason Reinsvolds Bowmaster Prelude

Today we have Jason Reinsvold's Bowmaster prelude.  This is a fun defend-the-castle game with a twist:  You get to pull back and unleash the arrows yourself.  Your goal is to hit the advancing army troops with your arrows and eventually attack and destroy the opposing castle.  After earning some gold and XP from defeating enemy troops you can upgrade your arrows and buy support weapons such as a catapult to help you defend your castle and destroy the enemy.  This game will easily keep you distracted for hours or more.  Hope you didn't need to get any work done!  Have fun!

Monsters' Den: The Book of Dread

Monsters' Den:  The Book of Dread is an in-depth turn-based rpg.  If you're looking for a game that will help you waste more than just a few minutes of free time this game may be for you.  You take four characters through a maze of catacombs while fighting various monsters and leveling up.  You can choose between all of the standard rpg classes like warrior, cleric, mage, etc. and choose new skills and stats for each.  Fortunatly there is a save option built in.  You will need it.  Have fun!

VVVVVV

VVVVVV by Terry Cavanagh

I played a beta of VVVVVV before it went shareware and it's awesome.  It's part obstacle course and part metroidvania game.  Try out this 2 level demo.  If you like it you can either pay the $15 or I'm sure many of you have the skills to find other ways of getting it.

Super Mario Bros Crossover

via Exploding Rabbit

Super Mario Bros Crossover. What better concept is there than playing the original Super Mario Bros. with characters from other 8-bit NES games? I had played this before, but today I found out that this new version adds Ryu from Ninja Gaiden and the Sophia III tank from Blaster Master. Have fun!

Action Turnip

via Kongregate

Here's a simple little flash game to waste a few minutes of your day. You're a turnip who has to get to the end by jumping over chasms and jumping on bats. Simple but addictive. Wish there was something I could do about the intro stuff though. Have fun!

Nostradamus

via IronSwine

For all the oldschool top-down space shooter fans out there looking for a new challenge, Nostradamus will give you a run for your money.